Ogden Nash

Don't Grin or You'll Have to Bear It

It is better in the long run to possess an abscess or a tumor
Than to possess a sense of humor.
People who have senses of humor have a very good time,
But they never accomplish anything of note, either despicable or sublime.
Because how can anybody accomplish anything immortal
When they realize they look pretty funny doing it and have to stop to
Everybody admits that Michelangelo’s little things in the Sistine Chapel
        are so immortal they have everybody reeling.
But I’ll bet he could never have dashed them off if he had realized how
        undignified he looked lying up there with his stomach on the ceiling.
Yes, fatal handicaps in life are fortunately few,
But the most fatal of all is the faculty of seeing the other person’s point
        of view.
And if your devoted mother suggest that you will someday be rich and 
        famous, why perish the suggestion.
That is, perish it if you are afflicted with the suspicion that there are two
        sides to every question.
Good gracious, how could anyone corner wheat
If they were sissy enough to reflect that they were causing a lot of other
        people to be unable to afford to eat?
Look at mayors and congressmen and presidents, always excepting col-
        lege presidents, such as Harvard’s Conant;
Do you think they could get elected if they admitted even to themselves
        that there was anything to be said for their opponent?
No, no, genius won’t get you as far as common everyday facility
Unless it is accompanied by a conviction of infallibility,
And people who have a sense of humor are extremely gullible,
But not enough so, alas, to believe that they are infullible.