The Cow The cow is of the bovine ilk; One end is moo, the other, milk. The Turtle The turtle lives twixt plated decks Which practically conceals its sex. I think it clever of the turtle In such a fix to be so fertile. The Cobra This creature fills its mouth with venom And walks upon its duodenum. He who attempts to tease the cobra Is soon a sadder he, and sobra. The Phoenix Deep in the study Of eugenics We find that fabled Fowl, the Phoenix. The wisest bird As ever was, Rejecting other Mas and Pas, It lays one egg, Not one or twelve, And when it's hatched, Out pops itselve. The Rhinoceros The rhino is a homely beast, For human eyes he's not a feast. Farewell, farewell, you old rhinoceros I'll stare at something less prepoceros. The Wombat The wombat lives across the seas, Among the far Antipodes, He may exist on nuts and berries, or then again, on missionaries; His distant habitat precludes Conclusive knowledge of his moods, But I would not engage the wombat In any form of mortal combat. The Giraffe I beg you, children, do not laugh When you survey the tall giraffe. It's hardly sporting to attack A beast that cannot answer back. Now you and I have shorter necks, But we can chant of gin and sex; He has a trumpet for a throat, And cannot blow a single note. It isn't that his voice he hoards; He hasn't any vocal chords. I wish for him, and for his wife, A voluble girafter life. The Duck Behold the duck, It does not cluck. A cluck it lacks. It quacks. It is specially fond Of a puddle or pond. When it dines or sups, It bottoms up. The Camel The camel has a single hump; the dromedary, two; Or else the other way around. I'm never sure. Are you? The Turkey There is nothing more perky Than a masculine turkey. When he struts he struts With no ifs or buts. When his face is apoplectic His harem grows hectic, And when he gobbles Their universe wobbles. The Hippopotamus Behold the hippopotamus! We laugh at how he looks to us, And yet in moments dank and grim I wonder how we look to him. Peace, peace, thou hippopotamus! We really look all right to us, As you no doubt delight the eye Of other hippopotami. The Kitten The trouble with a kitten is THAT Eventually it becomes a CAT. The Panther The panther is like a leopard, Except it hasn't been peppered. Should you behold a panther crouch, Prepare to say Ouch. Better yet, if called by a panther, Don't anther. The Canary The song of canaries Never varies, And when they're molting They're pretty revolting. The Skink Let us do justice to the skink Who isn't what so many think. On consultation with a wizard I find the skink a kind of lizard. Since he is not a printer's whim, Don't sniff and back away from him, Or you may be adjudged too drunk to tell a lizard from a skunk. The Ant The ant has made himself illustrious Through constant industry industrious. So what? Would you be calm and placid If you were full of formic acid? The Centipede I objurgate the centipede, A bug we do not really need. At sleepy-time he beats a path Straight to the bedroom or the bath. You always wallop where he's not, Or, if he is, he makes a spot. The Firefly The firefly's flame Is something for which science has no name. I can think of nothing eerier Than flying around with an unidentified glow on a person's posteerier. The Porcupine Any hound a porcupine nudges Can't be blamed for harboring grudges. I know one hound who laughed all winter At a porcupine that sat on a splinter. The Hamster There is not much to say about the hamster To stimulate the epigramster. The essence of his simple story, He populates the laboratory, Then leaves his offspring in the lurch, Martyrs to medical research. Was he as bright as people am New York would be New Hamsterdam. The Mules In the world of mules There are no rules. The Grackle The grackle's voice is less than mellow, His heart is black, his eye is yellow, He bullies more attractive birds With hoodlum deeds and vulgar words, And should a human interfere, Attacks that human in the rear. I cannot help but deem the grackle an ornithological debacle. The Ostrich The ostrich roams the great Sahara, Its mouth is wide, his neck is narra. It has such long and lofty legs, I'm glad it sits to lay its eggs. The Abominable Snowman I've never seen an abominable snowman, I'm hoping not to see one, I'm also hoping, if I do, That it will be a wee one. The Manatee The manatee is harmless And conspicuously charmless. Luckily the manatee Is quite devoid of vanity. The Python The python has, and I fib no fibs, 318 pairs of ribs. In stating this I place reliance On a seance with one who died for science. This figure is sworn and attested; He counted them while being digested. The Pig The pig, if I am not mistaken, Supplies us with sausage, ham, and bacon. Let others say his heart is big - I call it stupid of the pig.