The Wedding Procession of the Rag Doll and the Broom Handle and Who Was in It
The Rag Doll had many friends. The Whisk Broom,
the Furnace Shovel, the Coffee Pot, they all liked
the Rag Doll very much.
But when the Rag Doll married, it was the Broom
Handle she picked because the Broom Handle fixed her
A proud child, proud but careless, banged the head
of the Rag Doll against a door one day and knocked off
both the glass eyes sewed on long ago. It was then the
Broom Handle found two black California prunes, and
fastened the two California prunes just where the eyes
belonged. So then the Rag Doll had two fine black eyes
brand new. She was even nicknamed Black Eyes by some
There was a wedding when the Rag Doll married the
Broom Handle. It was a grand wedding with one of the
grandest processions ever seen at a rag doll wedding.
And we are sure no broom handle ever had a grander
wedding procession when he got married.
Who marched in the procession? Well, first came
the Spoon Lickers. Every one of them had a tea spoon,
or a soup spoon, though most of them had a big table
spoon. On the spoons, what did they have? Oh, some had
butter scotch, some had gravy, some had marshmallow
fudge. Every one had something slickery sweet or fat
to eat on the spoon. And as they marched in the wedding
procession of the Rag Doll and the Broom Handle, they
licked their spoons and looked around and licked their
Next came the Tin Pan Bangers. Some had dishpans,
some had frying pans, some had potato peeling pans.
All the pans were tin with tight tin bottoms. And the
Tin Pan Bangers banged with knives and forks and iron
and wooden bangers on the bottoms of the tin pans. And
as they marched in the wedding procession of the Rag
Doll and the Broom Handle they banged their pans and
looked around and banged again.
Then came the Chocolate Chins. They were all eating
chocolates. And the chocolate was slippery and slickered
all over their chins. Some of them spattered the ends
of their noses with black chocolate. Some of them spread
the brown chocolate nearly up to their ears. And then
as they marched in the wedding procession of the Rag Doll
and the Broom Handle they stuck their chins in the air
and looked around and stuck their chins in the air again.
Then came the Dirty Bibs. They wore plain white bibs,
checker bibs, stripe bibs, blue bibs and bibs with butterflies.
But all the bibs were dirty. The plain white bibs were
dirty, the checker bibs were dirty, the stripe bibs, the
blue bibs and the bibs with butterflies on them, they
were all dirty. And so in the wedding procession of the
Rag Doll and the Broom Handle, the Dirty Bibs marched with
their dirty fingers on the bibs and they looked around and
laughed and looked around and laughed again.
Next came the Clean Ears. They were proud. How they
got into the procession nobody knows. Their ears were all
clean. They were clean not only on the outside but they
were clean on the inside. There was not a speck of dirt or
dust or muss or mess on the inside nor the outside of their
ears. And so in the wedding procession of the Rag Doll and
the Broom Handle, they wiggled their ears and looked around
and wiggled their ears again.
The Easy Ticklers were next in the procession. Their
faces were shining. Their cheeks were like bars of new soap.
Their ribs were strong and the meat and the fat was thick on
their ribs. It was plain to see they were saying, “Don’t
tickle me because I tickle so easy.” And as they marched in
the wedding procession of the Rag Doll and the Broom Handle,
they tickled themselves and laughed and looked around and
tickled themselves again.
The music was furnished mostly by the Musical Soup Eaters.
They marched with big bowls of soup in front of them and big
spoons for eating the soup. They whistled and chuzzled and
snozzled the soup and the noise they made could be heard far
up at the head of the procession where the Spoon Lickers were
marching. So they dipped their soup and looked around and dipped
their soup again.
The Chubby Chubs were next. They were roly poly, round faced
smackers and snoozers. They were not fat babies—oh no, oh
no—not fat but just chubby and easy to squeeze. They marched
on their chubby legs and chubby feet and chubbed their chubbs
and looked around and chubbed their chubbs again.
The last of all in the wedding procession of the Rag Doll
and the Broom Handle were the Sleepyheads. They were smiling
and glad to be marching but their heads were slimpsing down
and their smiles were half fading away and their eyes were
half shut or a little more than half shut. They staggered just
a little as though their feet were not sure where they were
going. They were the Sleepyheads, the last of all, in the
wedding procession of the Rag Doll and the Broom Handle and
the Sleepyheads they never looked around at all.
It was a grand procession, don’t you think so?