Annie Dillard




Deathbeds

                                                             —Edward S. Le Comte, ed., Dictionary of Last
                                                                Words, 1955 

           (The poet essentially can’t be concerned with the act of dying.)
                                 —Henry James, preface to the Wings of the Dove                                  
                                   
This is too tight; loosen it a little. I pray
You give me some sack! Bring me last year’s apple,
If you can, or any new melon. A dozen cold oysters.
My children! My papers! My book, my unfinished book!

From my present sensations, I should say i was dying
—And I am glad of it. The world is bobbing around

Do you know the Lord’s Prayer? Cover me.
Shut the door. Can’t you see anymore.
I must go home. I am very forlorn at the present
Moment, and I wish I was at Malvern.

Am I still alive? Do I drag my anchors?

So here it is at last, the distinguished thing!
Is this dying? Is this all? Is this
All that I feared, when I prayed against a hard death?
O! I can bear this! I can bear it!
Now I have finished with all earthly business
—High time, too. Yes, yes,
My dear child, now comes death.
Is it come already? Here, here is my end.
Wait a moment. Do you not hear the voices?
And the children’s are the loudest! The chariots
And horses! I do not know how this happened.
I can account for it in no way.

Watty! What is this? It is death.
They have deceived me. It has all been very interesting.
I should like to have a good spin down Regent Street.
Four o’clock? How strange! So that is Time!

Sing to me, if you have the heart. Draw
The curtain. Turn me over. Perhaps I may
Sleep a little. Cover me up warm,
Keep my utterance clear…I’m doing well.

Ah, Catherine, how beautiful you look.
Yes, love, yes. Oh! dear. Good-bye,
Harry. Good-night, Lushington. I wish
Johnny would come. Will you please turn
This way? I like to look at your face.

Already my foot is in the stirrup. Lift
me up, lift me right up! Now farewell.
We are over the hill; we shall go better now.

I am coming, Katie! John, it will not
Be long. Supremely happy! Excellent!
My dearest, dearest Liz. We are all going;
We are all going; we are all going.

This is it, chaps. Take me home.
I believe, my son, I am going. That’s it.
Good-bye—drive on. Cut her loose, Doc.

I’m going, I’m going. At a gallop!
Clear the way. Good-bye, God bless you!
Good-bye, everybody. A general good-night.