from the Inuit

When I was just a girl
I once took a beauty treatment
recommended by our medicine man:
Grandma took me out
and found old dried-up dog turds for me.
I had to put each turd on my tongue
keeping it in my mouth until it was soft,
then rub myself with it
all over my breasts and stomach.
That is where I got my lovely figure and vitality from.
For as the medicine man said,
dogshit used in the right way
possesses magic powers
and is a kind of elixir of youth.
That is why I still look so young
in spite of my great age.
So for a beautiful complexion, ladies,
I do not hesitate to recommend dogshit lotion to you.
Try some today!