Dick:
If you'll give me your attention,
I will tell you who I am.
I'm the bloke on board monopolizing Every little scam.
You want a special service?
I provide it in a flash.
My suppliers do me credit,
Though my terms are strictly cash.
If you're after something rare,
Exotic perfume, grog or clothes
I'll get them through the customs, 
But you'll pay me through the nose. 

So I have learned to turn a little profit
If I can
But everybody says
I'm such a disagreeable man. 
And I can't think why. 

Boys:
He can't think why 
He sold his mother last July 

Dick: (aside) Well she was old. (end aside)
I'm humble and ignoble 
Even though I run the show.
You can ask me any question
And I'll tell you where to go
So far I own the poop deck.
And the Mizzen mask as well
While the ship will rock to my own clock 
Cause I just bought the bell 
I'm a businessman, a banker 
An interesting gent
I've got everybody's interest 

Boys:
Yeah, 35%

Dick: 
And though I look like Captain Hook, 
I'm sweet as Peter Pan,
But everybody says
I'm such a disagreeable man, 
And I can't think why. 

Boys:
He can't think why

Just stick around and you'll know why 

Dick:
My casino's open pay days 
If you want to place a bet 
You can double all your earnings 
Playing Deadeye Dick's roulette. 
There's poker or the shell game, 
Or sometimes craps is nice 

Band Leader: 
What??


Dick: It's a game of chance - like your conducting! 
I'm positively loaded, 
But then so too are the dice 
You sometimes win,
You sometimes lose 
That's how the number falls 
You've got to take your chances 
Cause I've got you by the .... 
All the crew arc in my debt 
Even Captain Corcoran. 
Yet everybody says 
I'm such a disagreeable man, 
And I can't think why. 

Boys:
He can't think why 
He can't think why 
I can't think why 

Dick:
I can’t think why