I feel inclined to send a teeny-weeny
Admonishment to dear Signor Bellini
For having seriously tried to form a
Coherent opera from Norma.

I think we must face the fact that Carmen by Bizet
Is no more Spanish than the Champs Elysées.

Should I desire to be driven mad
I’d book a seat for Herodiade
Which, although it’s by Massenet who wrote Manon
Is really not a good thing to plan on
And gives me by and large, more claust-
rophobia than Faust.

I often say, for which opera lovers attack me,
That if I were a soprano I’d let them sack me
Before I’d sing Lakme.

Nobody sane could bear to read a
Detailed synopsis of Aida
And we all know the plot of La Giaconda
Is apt to wander.
But neither of these so arch and sticky is
As Gianni Schicchi is.

Though Wolfgang Mozart wrote The Magic Flute he,
Alas, alas, composed Cosi Fan Tutte
The roguishness of which is piu piu male
Than Don Pasquale
But then poor Donizetti
Was likewise not
Too hot
At choosing Libretti.

Then there are those Rosenkavaliers and Fledermauses
Written by all those Strausses
Which play to crowded houses
And, to me, are louses.

There couldn’t be a sillier story
Than Il Travatore
And yet, and yet, and yet Oh
Just think of the libretto
of Rigoletto!
Both of these were set to music by Verdi
How dared he?
On the other hand we must admit that Thais
Is more concais
And fairly nais.

We must also admit that every Victorian Hurdy-gurdy
Owes a deep debt of gratitude to Giuseppe Verdi.