With acknowledgements to Cole Porter

Mr. Irving Berlin
Often emphasizes sin
In a charming way.
Mr. Coward we know
Wrote a song or two to show
Sex was here to stay.
Richard Rodgers it's true
Took a more romantic view
Of that sly biological urge.
But it really was Cole
Who contrived to make the whole
Thing merge.

He said that Belgians and Greeks do it,
Nice young men who sell antiques do it,
Let's do it, let's fall in love.
Monkeys whenever you look do it,
Rupert Bear  and even Flook  do it, 
Let's do it, let's fall in love.
Mary Whitehouse can't quite do it,
But she's so highly strung,
Marlene might do it,
But she looks far too young.
Excited spinsters in spas do it,
Duchesses when opening bazaars do it,
Let's do it, let's fall in love.

Famous writers in swarms do it,
Somerset and all the Maughams do it,
Let's do it, let's fall in love.
The Brontës felt that they must do it,
Ernest Hemingway could-just-do it,
Let's do it, let's fall in love.
E. Allan Poe-ho! Ho! Ho!-did it,
But he did it in verse.
They say Cocteau did it,
But he had to rehearse.
Tennessee Williams self-taught does it, 
Kinsey with a deafening report does it.
Let's do it, let's fall in love.

In the Spring of the year
Inhibitions disappear 
And our hearts beat high,
We had better face facts
Every gland that overacts
Has an alibi
For each bird and each bee,
Each slap-happy sappy tree,
Each temptation that lures us along
Is just Nature elle-même 
Merely singing us the same
Old song.

In Texas some of the men do it,
Others drill a hole-and then do it,
Let's do it, let's fall in love.
They say each hen and cock does it,
Bernard Miles in Puddle Dock does it,
Let's do it, let's fall in love.
My kith and kin, more or less, do it,
Every uncle and aunt,
But I confess to it,
I've one cousin that can't.
Each tiny clam you consume does it,
Even Liberace we assume does it,
Let's do it, let's fall in love.

The House of Commons en bloc do it,
Civil Servants by the clock do it,
Let’s do it, let’s fall in love.
Deacons who’ve done it before do it,
Minor canons with a roar do it,
Let’s do it, let’s fall in love.
Some rather rorty old rips do it,
When they get a bit tight,
Government Whips do it
If it takes them all night,
Harold Wilson out loud does it,
Even Edward heath on Morning Cloud does it,
Let’s do it, let’s fall in love.
Teenagers squeezed into jeans do it,
Probably we’ll live to see machines do it.
Let’s do it, let’s fall in love.