In a dear little village, remote and obscure
A beautiful maiden resided,
As to whether or not her intentions were pure
Opinions was sharply divided
She loved to lie out 'neath the darkening sky
And allow the soft breeze to entrance her,
She whispered her dreams to the birds flying by
But seldom received any answer.

Over the field and along the lane
Gentle Alice would love to stray
When it came to the end of the day
She would wander away, unheeding
Dreaming her innocent dreams she strolled,
Quite unaffected by heat or cold,
Frequently freckled or soaked with rain,
Alice was out in the lane
Who she met there
Every day there
Was a question answered by none.
But she'd get there
And she'd stay there
'Til whatever she did
Was undoubtedly done.
Over the field and along the lane
Both her parents would call in vain,
Sadly, sorrowfully, they'd complain,
'Alice is at it again.'

Though that dear little village
Surrounded by trees
Had neither a school, nor a college
Gentle Alice acquired from the birds and the bees
Some exceedingly practical knowledge.
The curious secrets that nature revealed
She refused to allow to upset her
But she thought when observing the beasts of the field
That things might have been organized better

Over the field and along the lane
Gentle Alice would make up
And take up—her stand.
The road was not exactly arterial
But it led to a town nearby
Where quite a lot of Masculine material
Caught her rolling eye.
She was ready to hitchhike
Cadillac or motorbike.
She wasn't proud or choosy
All she
Was aiming to be
Was a prinked up
Minked up
Fly-by-night floozy.
When old Rajahs
Gave her pearls as large as
Nuts on a chestnut tree,
All she'd say was ‘Fiddle-di-dee!,
The wages of sin will be the death of me!'
Over the field and along the lane, 
Gentle Alice's parents would wait 
    hand in hand
Her dear old white-headed mother,
    wistfully sipping champagne
Said 'We've spoiled our child - spared 
     the rod
Open up the caviar and say Thank God!
We've got no cause to complain!
Alice is at it again - Alice is at it - Alice is 
      at it again.’