throwing you shoe at 3 a.m. and smashing the window, then sticking your head through the shards of glass and laughing as the phone rings with authoritative threats as you curse back through the receiver, slam it down as the woman screeches: "WHAT THE FUCK YA DOIN', YA ASSHOLE!' you smirk, look at her (what's this?). you're cut somewhere, love it, the dripping of red onto your dirty torn undershirt, the whiskey roaring through your invincibility: you're young, you're big, and the world stinks from centuries of Humanity while you're on course and there's something left to drink - it's good, it's a dramatic farce and you can handle it with verve, style, grace and elite mysticism. another hotel drunk - thank god for hotels and whiskey and ladies of the street! you turn to her: "you chippy hunk of shit, don't bad mouth me! I'm the toughest guy in town, you don't know who the hell you're in this room with!" she just look, half-believing...a gigarette dangling, she's half- onsane, looking for an out; she's hard, she's scared, she's been fooled, taken, abused, used, over- used... but under all that, to me she's the flower, I see her as she was before she was ruined by the lies: theirs and hers. to me, she's new again as I am new: we have a chance together. I walk over and fill her drink: "you got class, doll, you're not like the others..." she likes that and I like it too because to make a thing true all you've got to do is believe. I sit across from her as she tells me about her life, I give her refills, light her cigarettes, I listen and the City of Angels listens: she's had a hard row. I get sentimental and decide not to fuck her: one more man for her won't help and one more woman for me won't matter - besides, she doesn't look that good. acyually, her life is boring and rather common but most are - mine is too except when lifted by whiskey she gets into a crying-jag, she's cute, really, and pitiful, all she wants is what she always wanted, only it's getting further and further away. then she stops crying, we just drink and smoke, it's peaceful - I won't bother her tha night... I have trouble trying to yank the pull-down bed from the wall, she comes up to help, we pull together - suddenly, it releases - flings itself upon us, a hard death-like mindless object, it knocks us upon our asses beneath it as first in fear we scream then begin laughing, laughing like carzy. she gets the bathroom first, then I use it, then we stretch out and sleep. I am awakened in the early morning... she is down at my center, has me in her mouth and is working furiously. "it's all right," I say, "you don't have to do that." she continues, finishes... in the morning we pass the desk clerk, he has on thick-rimmed dark glasses, seems to sit in the shade of some tarantula dream: he was there when we entered, he is there now: some eternal darkness, we are almost to the door when he says: "don't come back." we walk 2 blocks up, turn left, walk one block, then on block south, enter Willie's at the middle of the block, place ourselves at bar center. we order beer for starters, we sit there as she searches her purse for cigarettes, then I get up, move toward the juke box, put a coin within, come back, sit down, she lifts her glass, "the first one's best," and I lift my drink, "and the last..." outside, the traffic runs up and down, down and up, going nowhere.