I gave away that kid like he was an old button
           Here old button get off of me
           I don’t need you anymore
           go on     get out of here
           go into the army
           sew yourself onto the colonel’s shirt
           or the captain’s fly     jackass
           don’t you have any sense
           don’t you read the papers
           why are you leaving now?

That kid walked out of here like he was the cat’s pajamas
           what are you wearing pj’s for    you damn fool?
           why are you crying    you couldn’t
           get another job anywhere anyways
           go march to the army’s drummer
           be a man like all your dead uncles
           then think of something else to do

Lost him, sorry about that     the president said
           he was a good boy
           never see one like him again
           Why don’t you repeat that     your honor
           why don’t you sizzle up the meaning
           of that sentence for your breakfast
           why don’t you stick him in a prayer
           and count to ten before my wife gets you.

That boy is a puddle in Beirut    the paper says
           scraped up for singing in church
           too bad   too bad is a terrible tune
           it’s no song at all     how come you sing it?

I gave away that kid like he was an old button
           Here old button get offa me
           I don’t need you anymore
           go on get out of here
           go into the army
           sew yourself onto the colonel’s shirt
           or the captain’s fly       jackass
           don’t you have any sense
           don’t you read the papers
           why are you leaving now?