Lines of Defense Including Proceedings from the State of Louisiane
                                                               vs.
                  The Convergence of the Ur-real and the Unreal

Q: Where were you on the night in question
A: Watching reruns

Q: What did you do before
A: Fattened frogs for snakes

Q: Before that
A: Sold monkeys door-to-door

Q: Did you ever imagine yourself doing something really useful
A: N/A

Q: What’s your doc#

Q: What’s your idea of Love, Loss, Mercy, etc.
A: N/A

Q: What can you tell us about your passenger
A: She was a slab of a woman, Your Honor

Q: Which is sadder, a motel or a public john

Q: When did your troubles with the revenue service begin
A: On Kafka’s birthday, Your Honor

Q: How many prisons have we passed
A: Just four

Q: Was that a Harley or a coffin you were driving

Q: Is that the tattoo that says Utopia
A: No, that’s the tattoo that says Real Men Eat Pussy

Q: What do you call a flash wound
A: About the thickness of a pair panties, Your Honor

Q: Westinghoused or Edisoned, your choice
AC or DC
A: It’s no real pleasure in life

Q: Did you have any pets
A: I kept a dog

Q: How did you get rid of the stains
A: I know hot water sets blood

Q: How do you get rid of dirty chi
A: Ask Jeeves

Q: Do you believe in progress
A: See the black curl under my chin
     I live on the ground by day and by night…

Q: Whom do you see in the mirror
     What is your favorite body of water, and why
     What is your idea of a good car
     Do you like fried pickles
     How long were you in school, what was your favorite subject
     How old were you when you began to mutilate yourself
     What is the nicest thing anyone ever did for you
     Did you ever have your own room
     Did you wet the bed
     Did you pour salt on slugs
     Did he touch you there
     Did you ever make anyone something you were proud of
     Can you carry a tune
     Do you like okra
     Have you ever been scared to the core

Q: What did she say
A: Say, Your Honor,       she say oh my godohmygodohmygod
     Say, Your Honor,       she say oh honey ohhoneyohhoneyno