I never sit on scrambled eggs, 
I know it isn’t right.
I never swim in pudding,
it’s considered impolite.
I never mash bananas
in my sister’s curly hair,
and seldom stuff spaghetti
down my brother’s underwear.


I do not dance in oatmeal,
it makes messes on the floor.
I do not juggle gelatin,
at least not anymore.
I do not swing at watermelons 
with my baseball bat—
my mother says the things I do
are worse than all of that.