Louder than a clap of thunder, 
louder than an eagle screams, 
louder than a dragon blunders, 
or a dozen football teams, 
louder than a four-alarmer, 
or a rushing waterfall, 
louder than a knight in armor 
jumping from a ten-foot wall. 

Louder than an earthquake rumbles, 
louder than a tidal wave, 
louder than an ogre grumbles 
as he stumbles through his cave, 
louder than stampeding cattle, 
louder than a cannon roars, 
louder than a giant's rattle, 
that's how loud my father SNORES!