in addition to the envy and the rancor of some of
my peers
there is the other thing, it comes by telephone and
letter: “you are the world’s greatest living
writer.”

this doesn’t please me either because somehow
I believe that to be the world’s greatest living
writer
there must be something
terribly wrong with you.

I don’t even want to be the world’s greatest
dead writer.

just being dead would be fair
enough.

also, the word “writer” is a very tiresome
word.

just think how much more pleasing it would be
to hear:
you are the world’s greatest pool
player
or 
you are the world’s greatest
fucker
or
you are the world’s greatest 
horseplayer.

now
that
would really make
a man feel
good.