—Francis Buckland, Buckland’s Curiosities of Natural History, 1858, 1860, 1865

STUFFED MERMAID

In an old curiosity-shop, in the west arcade
Of Hungerford Market (where they sell poultry),
I found my lady, looking as pretty as ever,

Under her glass case. Her head is too
Bullet-shaped, her eyes decidedly glass
Doll’s eyes, her teeth a small bit of bone

Cut into notches, which detract from her interesting look;
But to make up for this, her hair is longer,
And her chest, etc, exceedingly well developed.

She is fastened upright by means of the curved
Portion of her tail, and smiles gracefully
Through her dusty glass house.

PET APE

I had at one time a very large fine ape.
Not wishing to lose sight of him altogether,
I made his skin into a mat for the table.

NIGHTINGALE

I no longer disbelieve the story of a man
Being specially retained by the proprietors of Vauxhall
To sit in a bush and sing like a nightingale. “Hear ’em,

Sir, why you’re sure to hear ’em. We keeps
A nightingale.” “Water-wabble-wabble—swatee.”

ENVOY

But why remain here in the shallow water, my pretties?
Thousands and hundreds of thousands of your babies I have reared.