—D.C. Beard, The American Boy’s Handy Book, 1882


INDEX

Every Boy His Own Ice-Boat;
Every Boy His own Bubble Pipe;
Every boy a decorative artist.

How to Make a Blowgun.
How to Bind a Prisoner Without a Cord.
How to Rig and Sail Small Boats.
Practical Taxidermy for Boys.
             Let us suppose an owl
             Has been lowering around, and that you
             Have shot the rascal. Do not
             Throw him away. What a splendid
             Ornament he will make for the library!
             He must be skinned and stuffed!


QUESTIONS

What boy can sit all day in a boat
Without experiencing a longing
For some new patent transparent diving bell?

Who can watch machinery of any kind in motion, without
Experiencing and indefinable sort of pleasure?


SNOW STATUARY

It is very seldom that pigs
Are sculptured in marble or cast
In bronze, and it would be well
To make some of snow, so as to have
Statues not likely to be found elsewhere.

A statue of a Frenchman in an ulster
Is also rather uncommon.


FILLING THE GAPS IN LONG WINTER EVENINGS

There will frequently occur gaps,
In the long winter evenings, that are hard
To fill up satisfactorily…


HOW TO MAKE THE DANCING FAIRIES, THE BATHER,
AND THE ORATOR

How to Make a Handkerchief Doll:
As the music becomes lively the handkerchiefs
Lose their diffidence and dance about
In a very active manner.

The Bather: If among the company
There be any who are familiar
With the scenes at seaside summer resorts,
They will be convulsed with laughter.

The Orator: When the fingers are moved
Around in mimic gestures,
The effect is comical beyond measure.
The little man can be made
To scratch his nose, roll up sleeves…

Many other effects I used
To produce my puppet-shows
At present escape my memory.


PERSONAL NOTES

Upon opening his eyes one late
Summer morning the author
Was very much startled and astonished
At an apparition he beheld on the wall.

As the writer was passing along Broadway
The other day, he saw an old acquaintance.

Many rare fish have I eaten in my time.

Long and loud were the shouts
Of laughter of my companions.


OMINOUS PERSONAL NOTES

With paper fireworks an enjoyable
Day may be spent and the glorious
Fourth of July passed with no danger
Of such a painful accident as happened
To the writer July 4, 1884,
But from which he recovered.


ENVOY

It is not without regret
That the author bids farewell.
It is hard to lay down the pen
And again plunge into the busy world
Along with other old boys the tops
Of whose heads begin to resemble
What the lads in Kentucky called “alleys,”
A sort of flesh-colored marble or “Meg”
With faint blue veins on it,
Very Hard and very shiny.