To Bryher for Karnak 1923 from London 1942 {1} An incident here and there, and rails gone (for guns) from your (and my) old town square: mist and mist-grey, no colour, still the Luxor bee, chick and hare pursue unalterable purpose in green, rose-red lapis; they continue to prophesy from the stone papyrus: there, as here, ruin opens the tomb, the temple; enter, there as here, there are no doors: the shrine lies open to the sky, the rain falls, here, there sand drifts; eternity endures: ruin everywhere, yet as the fallen roof leaves the sealed room open to the air, so, through our desolation, thoughts stir, inspiration stalks us through gloom: unaware, Spirit announces the Presence; shivering overtakes us, as of old, Samuel: trembling at a known street-corner, we know not nor are known; the Pythian pronounces — we pass on to another cellar, to another sliced wall where poor utensils show like rare objects in a museum; Pompeii has nothing to teach us, we know crack of volcanic fissure, slow flow of terrible lava, pressure on heart, lungs, the brain about to burst its brittle case (what the skull can endure!): over us, Apocryphal fire, under us, the earth sway, dip of a floor, slope of a pavement where men roll, drunk with a new bewilderment, sorcery, bedevilment: the bone-frame was made for no such shock knit within terror, yet the skeleton stood up to it: the flesh? it was melted away, the heart burnt out, dead ember, tendons, muscles shattered, outer husk dismembered, yet the frame held: we passed the flame: we wonder what saved us? what for? {2} Evil was active in the land, Good was impoverished and sad; Ill promised adventure, Good was smug and fat; Dev-ill was after us, tricked up like Jehovah; Good was the tasteless pod, stripped from the manna-beans, pulse, lentils: they were angry when we were so hungry for the nourishment, God; they snatched off our amulets, charms are not, they said grace; but gods always face two-ways, so let us search the old highways for the true-rune, the right-spell, recover old values; nor listen if they shout out, your beauty, Isis, Aset or Astarte, is a harlot; you are retrogressive, zealot, hankering after old flesh-pots; your heart, moreover, is a dead canker, they continue, and your rhythm is the devil’s hymn, your stylus is dipped in corrosive sublimate, how can you scratch out indelible ink of the palimpsest of past misadventure? {3} Let us, however, recover the Sceptre, the rod of power: it is crowned with the lily-head or the lily-bud: it is the Caduceus; among the dying it bears healing: or evoking the dead, it brings life to the living. {4} There is a spell, for instance, in every sea-shell: continuous, the sea-thrust is powerless against coral, bone, stone, marble hewn from within by that craftsman, the shell-fish: oyster, clam, mollusc is master-mason planning the stone-marvel: yet that flabby, amorphous hermit within, like the planet senses the finite, it limits its orbit of being, its house, temple, fane, shrine: it unlocks the portals at stated intervals: prompted by hunger, it opens to the tide-flow: but infinity? no, of nothing-too-much: I sense my own limit, my shell-jaws snap shut at invasion of the limitless, ocean-weight; infinite water can not crack me, egg in egg-shell; closed in, complete, immortal full-circle, I know the pull of the tide, the lull as well as the moon; the octopus-darkness is powerless against her cold immortality; so I in my own way know that the whale can not digest me: be firm in your own small, static, limited orbit and the shark-jaws of outer circumstance will spit you forth: be indigestible, hard, ungiving. so that, living within, you beget, self-out-of-self, selfless, that pearl-of-great-price. {5} When in the company of the gods, I loved and was loved, never was my mind stirred to such rapture, my heart moved to such pleasure, as now, to discover over Love, a new Master: His, the track in the sand from a plum-tree in flower to a half-open hut-door, (or track would have been but wind blows sand-prints from the sand, whether seen or unseen): His, the Genius in the jar which the Fisherman finds, He is Mage, bringing myrrh. {6} In me (the worm) clearly is no righteousness, but this — persistence; I escaped spider-snare. bird-claw, scavenger bird-beak, clung to grass-blade, the back of the leaf when storm-wind tore it from its stem; I escaped, I explored rose-thorn forest, was rain-swept down the valley of a leaf; was deposited on grass, where mast by jeweled mast bore separate ravellings of encrusted gem-stuff of the mist from each banner-staff: unintimidated by multiplicity of magnified beauty, such as your gorgon-great dull eye can not focus nor compass, I profit by every calamity; I eat my way out of it; gorged on vine-leaf and mulberry, parasite, I find nourishment: when you cry in disgust, a worm on the leaf, a worm in the dust, a worm on the ear-of-wheat, I am yet unrepentant, for I know how the Lord God is about to manifest, when I, the industrious worm, spin my own shroud. {7} Gods, goddesses wear the winged head-dress of horns, as the butterfly antennae, or the erect king-cobra crest to show how the worm turns. {8} So we reveal our status with twin-horns, disk, erect serpent, though these or the double-plume or lotus are, you now tell us, trivial intellectual adornment; poets are useless, more than that, we, authentic relic, bearers of the secret wisdom, living remnant of the inner band of the sanctuaries’ initiate, are not only ‘non-utilitarian’, we are ‘pathetic’: this is the new heresy; but if you do not even understand what words say, how can you expect to pass judgement on what words conceal? yet the ancient rubrics reveal that we are back at the beginning: you have a long way to go, walk carefully, speak politely to those who have done their worm-cycle, for gods have been smashed before and idols and their secret is stored in man’s very speech, in the trivial or the real dream; insignia in the heron’s crest, the asp’s back, enigmas, rubrics promise as before, protection for the scribe; he takes precedence of the priest, stands second only to the Pharaoh. {9} Thoth, Hermes, the stylus, the palette, the pen, the quill endure, though our books are a floor of smouldering ash under our feet; the burning of the books remains the most perverse gesture and the meanest of men’s mean nature, yet give us, they still cry, give us books, folio, manuscript, old parchment will do for cartridges cases; irony is bitter truth wrapped up in a little joke, and Hatshepsut’s name is still circled with what they call the cartouche. {10} But we fight for life, we fight, they say, for breath, so what good are your scribblings? this—we take them with us beyond death; Mercury, Hermes, Thoth invented the script, letters, palette; the indicated flute or lyre-notes, on papyrus or parchment are magic, indelibly stamped on the atmosphere somewhere, forever; remember, O Sword, you are the younger brother, the latter-born, your Triumph, however exultant, must one day be over, in the beginning was the word. {11} Without thought, invention, you would not have been, O Sword, without idea and the Word’s mediation, you would have remained unmanifest in the dim dimension where thought dwells, and beyond thought and idea, their begetter, Dream, Vision. {12} So, in our secretive, sly, way, we are proud and chary of companionship with you others, our betters, who seem to imply that we will soon be swept aside, crumpled rags, no good for banner stuff, no fit length for a bandage; but when the shingles hissed in the rain of incendiary, other values were revealed to us, other standards hallowed us; strange texture, a wing covered us, and though there was whirr and roar in the high air, there was a Voice louder, though its speech was lower than a whisper. {13} The Presence was spectrum-blue, ultimate blue ray, rare as radium, as healing; my old self, wrapped round me, was shroud (I speak of myself individually but I was surrounded by companions in this mystery); do you wonder we are proud, aloof, indifferent to your good and evil? peril, strangely encountered, strangely endured, mark us; we know each other by secret symbols, though, remote, speechless, we pass each other on the pavement, at the turn of the stair; though no word pass between us, there is subtle appraisement; even if we snarl a brief greeting or do not speak at all, we know our Name, we nameless initiates, born of one mother, companions of the flame. {14} Yet we, the latter-day twice-born, have our bad moments when dragging the forlorn husk of self after us, we are forced to confess to malaise and embarrassment; we pull at this dead shell, struggle but we must wait till the new Sun dries off the old body humours; awkwardly, we drag this stale old will, old volition, old habit about with us; we are these people, wistful, ironical, wilful, who have no part in new-world reconstruction, in the confederacy of labour, the practical issues of art and the cataloguing of utilities: O, do not look up into the air, you who are occupied in the bewildering sand-heap maze of present-day endeavour; you will be, not so much frightened as paralyzed with inaction, and anyhow, we have not crawled so very far up our individual grass-blade toward our individual star. {15} Too old to be useful, (whether in years of experience, we are the same lot) not old enough to be dead, we are the keepers of the secret, the carriers, the spinners of the rare intangible thread that binds all humanity to ancient wisdom, to antiquity; our joy is unique, to us, grape, knife, cup, wheat are symbols in eternity, and every concrete object has abstract value, is timeless in the dream parallel whose relative sigil has not changed since Nineveh and Babel. {16} Ra, Osiris, Amen appeared in a spacious, bare meeting-house; he is the world-father, father of past aeons, present and future equally; beardless, not at all like Jehovah, he was upright, slender, impressive at the Memnon monolith, yet he was not out of place but perfectly at home in that eighteenth-century simplicity and grace; then I woke with a start of wonder and asked myself, but whose eyes are those eyes? for the eyes (in the cold, I marvel to remember) were all one texture, as if without pupil or all pupil, dark yet very clear with amber shining… {17} …coals for the world’s burning, for we must go forward, we are at the cross-roads, the tide is turning; it uncovers pebbles and shells, beautiful yet static, empty old thought, old convention; let us go down to the sea, gather dry sea-weed, heap drift-wood, let us light a new fire and in the fragrance of burnt salt and sea-incense chant new paeans to the new Sun of regeneration; we have always worshipped Him, we have always said, forever and ever, Amen. {18} The Christos-image is most difficult to disentangle from its art-craft junk-shop paint-and-plaster medieval jumble of pain-worship and death-symbol, that is why, I suppose, the Dream deftly stage-managed the bare, clean early colonial interior, without stained-glass, picture, image or colour, for now it appears obvious that Amen is our Christos. {19} He might even be the authentic Jew stepped out from Velasquez; those eye-lids in the Velasquez are lowered over eyes that open, would daze, bewilder and stun us with old sense of guilt and fear, but the terror of those eyes veiled in their agony is over; I assure you that the eyes of Velasquez crucified now look straight at you, and they are amber and they are fire. {20} Now it appears very clear that the Holy Ghost, childhood’s mysterious enigma, is the Dream; that way of inspiration is always open, and open to everyone; it acts as go-between, interpreter, it explains symbols of the past in to-day’s imagery, it merges the distant future with most distant antiquity, states economically in a simple dream-equation the most profound philosophy, discloses the alchemist’s secret and follows the Mage in the desert. {21} Splintered the crystal of identity, shattered the vessel of integrity, till the Lord Amen, paw-er of the ground, bearer of the curled horns, bellows from the horizon: here am I, Amen-Ra, Amen, Aries, the Ram; time, time for you to begin a new spiral, see—I toss you into the star-whirlpool; till, pitying, pitying, snuffing the ground, here am I, Amen-Ra whispers, Amen, Aries, the Ram, be cocoon, smothered in wool, be Lamb, mothered again. {22} Now my right hand, now my left hand clutch your curled fleece; take me home, take me home, my voice wails from the ground; take me home, Father: pale as the worm in the grass, yet I am a spark struck by your hoof from a rock: Amen, you are so warm, hide me in your fleece, crop me up with the new-grass; let your teeth devour me, let me be warm in your belly, the sun-disk, the re-born Sun. {23} Take me home where canals flow between iris-banks: where the heron has her nest: where the mantis prays on the river-reed: where the grasshopper says Amen, Amen, Amen. {24} Or anywhere where stars blaze through clear air, where we may greet individually, Sirius, Vega, Arcturus, where these separate entities are intimately concerned with us, where each, with its particular attribute, may be invoked with accurate charm, spell, prayer, which will reveal unquestionably, whatever healing or inspirational essence is necessary for whatever particular ill the inquiring soul is heir to: O stars, little jars of that indisputable and absolute Healer, Apothecary, wrought, faceted, jeweled boxes, very precious, to hold further unguent, myrrh, incense: jasper, beryl, sapphire that, as we draw them nearer by prayer, spell, litany, incantation, will reveal their individual fragrance, personal magnetic influence, become, as they once were, personified messengers, healers, helpers of the One, Amen, All-father. {25} Amen only just now, my heart-shell breaks open, though long ago, the phoenix, your bennu bird, dropped a grain, as of scalding wax; there was fragrance, burnt incense, myrtle, aloes, cedar; the Kingdom is a Tree whose roots bind the heart-husk to earth, after the ultimate grain, lodged in the heart-core, has taken its nourishment. {26} What fruit is our store, what flower? what savour do we possess, what particular healing-of-the-nations is our leaf? is it balsomodendron, herb-basil, or is ours the spear and leaf-spire of the palm? are we born from island or oasis or do we stand fruit-less on the field-edge, to spread shade to the wheat-gatherers in the noon-heat? {27} Is ours lotus-tree from the lotus-grove, magnolia’s heavy, heady, sleepy dream? or pomegranate whose name decorates sonnets, but either acid or over-ripe, perfect only for the moment? of ill the flowing of the wood, are we wild-almond, winter-cherry? or are we pine or fir, sentinel, solitary? or cypress, arbutus-fragrant? {28} O Heart, small urn of porphyry, agate or cornelian, how imperceptibly the grain fell between a heart-beat of pleasure and a heart-beat of pain; I do not know how it came nor how long it had lain there, nor can I say how it escaped tempest of passion and malice, nor why it was not washed away in flood of sorrow, or dried up in the bleak drought of bitter thought. {29} Grant is strength to endure a little longer, now the heart’s alabaster is broken; we would feed forever on the amber honey-comb of your remembered greeting, but the old-self, still half at-home in the world, cries out in anger, I am hungry, the children cry for food and flaming stones fall on them; our awareness leaves us defenceless; O, for your Presence among the fishing-nets by the beached boats on the lake-edge; when, in the drift of wood-smoke, will you say again, as you said, the baked fish is ready, here is the bread? {30} I heard Scorpion whet his knife, I feared Archer (taut his bow), Goat’s horns were threat, would climb high? then fall low; across the abyss the Waterman waited, this is the age of the new dimension, dare, seek, seek further, dare more, here is the alchemist’s key, it unlocks secret doors, the present goes a step further toward fine distillation of emotion, the elixir of life, the philosopher’s stone is yours if you surrender sterile logic, trivial reason; so mind dispersed, dared occult lore, found secret doors unlocked, floundered, was lost in sea-depth, sub-conscious ocean where Fish move two-ways, devour; when identity in the depth, would merge with the best, octopus or shark rise from the sea-floor; illusion, reversion of old values, oneness lost, madness. {31} Wistfulness, exaltation, a pure core of burning celebration, jottings in a margin, indecipherable palimpsest scribbled over with to many contradictory emotions, search for finite definition of the infinite, stumbling toward vague cosmic expression, obvious sentiment, folder around a spiritual bank-account, with credit-loss too starkly indicated, a riot of unpruned imagination, jottings of psychic numerical equations, runes, superstitions, evasions, invasion of the over-soul into a cup too brittle, a jar too circumscribed, a little too porous to contain the out-flowing of water-about-to-be-changed-to-wine at the wedding; barren search, arrogance, over-confidence, pitiful reticence, boasting, intrusion of strained inappropriate allusion, illusion of lost-gods, daemons, gambler with eternity, initiate of the secret wisdom, bride of the kingdom, reversion of old values, oneness lost, madness. {32} Depth of the sub-conscious spews forth too many incongruent monsters and fixed indigestible matter such as shell, pearl; imagery done to death; perilous ascent, ridiculous descent; rhyme, jingle, overworked assonance, nonsense, juxtaposition of words for words’ sake, without meaning, undefined; imposition, deception, indecisive weather-vane; disagreeable. inconsequent syllables, too malleable, too brittle, over-sensitive, under-definitive, clash of opposites, fight of emotion and sterile invention— you find all this? conditioned to the discrimination of the colours of the lunar rainbow and the outer layers of the feathers of the butterfly’s antennae, we were caught up by the tornado and deposited on no pleasant ground, but we found the angle of incidence equals the angle of reflection; separated from the wandering stars and the habits of the lordly fixed ones, we noted that even the erratic burnt-out comet has its peculiar orbit. {33} Let us measure defeat in terms of bread and meat, and continents in relative extent of wheat fields; let us not teach what we have learned badly and not profited by; let us not concoct healing potions for the dead, nor invent new colours for blind eyes. {34} We have seen how the most amiable, under physical stress, become wolves, jackals, mongrel curs; we know further that hunger may make hyenas of the best of us; let us, therefore (though we do not forget Love, the Creator, her chariot and white doves), entreat Hest, Aset, Isis, the great enchantress, in her attribute of Serqet, the original god-mother, who drove harnessed scorpions before her. {35} Let us substitute enchantment for sentiment, re-dedicate our gifts to spiritual realism, scrape a palette, point pen or brush, prepare papyrus or parchment, offer incense to Thoth, the original Ancient-of-days, Hermes-thrice-great, let us entreat that he, by his tau-cross, invoke the true-magic, lead us back to the one-truth, let him (Wisdom) in the light of what went before, illuminate what came after, re-vivify the eternal verity, by ye wise as asps, scorpions, as serpents. {36} In no wise is the pillar-of-fire that went before different from the pillar-of-fire that comes after; chasm, schism in consciousness must be bridged over; we are each, householder, each with a treasure; now is the time to re-value our secret hoard in the light of both past and future, for whether coins, gems, gold beakers, platters, or merely talismans, records or parchments, explicitly, we are told, it contains for every scribe which is instructed, things new and old. {37} Thou shalt have none other gods but me; not on the sea shall we entreat Triton or Dolphin, not on the land shall we lift rapt face and clasp hands before laurel or oak-tree, not in the sky shall we invoke separately Orion or Sirius or the followers of the Bear, not in the higher air of Algorab, Regulus or Deneb shall we cry for help—or shall we? {38} This search for historical parallels, research into psychic affinities, has been done to death before, will be done again; no comment can alter spiritual realities (you say) or again, what new light can you possibly throw upon them? my mind (yours), your way of thought (mine), each has its peculiar intricate map, threads wave over and under the jungle-growth of biological aptitudes, inherited tendencies, the intellectual effort of the whole race, its tide and ebb; but my mind (yours) has its peculiar ego-centric personal approach so the eternal realities, and differs from every other in minute particulars, as the vein-paths on any leaf differ from those of every other leaf in the forest, as every snow-flake has its particular star, coral or prism shape. {39} We have had too much consecration, too little affirmation, too much; but this, this, this has been proved heretical, too little: I know, I feel the meaning that words hide; they are anagrams, cryptograms, little boxes, conditioned to hatch butterflies… {40} For example: Osiris equates O-sir-is or O-Sire-is; Osiris, the star Sirius, relates resurrection myth and resurrection reality through the ages; plasterer, crude mason, not too well equipped, my thought would cover deplorable gaps in time, reveal the regrettable chasm, bridge that before-and-after schism, (before Abraham was I am) uncover cankerous growths in present-day philosophy, in an endeavour to make ready, as it were, the patient for the Healer; correlate faith with faith, recover the secret of Isis, which is: there was One in the beginning, Creator, Fosterer, Begetter, the Same-forever in the papyrus-swamp in the Judean meadow. {41} Sirius: what mystery is this? you are seed, corn near the sand, enclosed in black-lead, ploughed land. Sirius: what mystery is this? you are drowned in the river; the spring freshets push open the water-gates. Sirius: what mystery is this? where heart breaks and cracks the sand-waste, you are a mist of snow: white, little flowers. {42} O, Sire, is this the path? over sedge, over dune-grass, silently sledge-runners pass. O, Sire, is this the waste? unbelievably, sand glistens like ice, cold, cold; drawn to the temple gate, O, Sire, is this union at last? {42} Still the walls do not fall, I do not know why; there is zrr-hiss, lightning in a not-known, unregistered dimension; we are powerless, dust and powder fill our lungs our bodies blunder through doors twisted on hinges, and the lintels slant cross-wise; we walk continually on thin air that thickens to a blind fog, then step swiftly aside, for even the air is independable, thick where it should be fine and tenuous where wings separate and open, and the ether is heavier than the floor, and the floor sags like a ship floundering; we know no rule of procedure, we are voyagers, discoverers of the not-known, the unrecorded; we have no map; possibly we will reach haven, heaven.