Shel Silverstein

Call the Please

The Police Department
Changed their garments
And became the Please Department
And instead of clubs and cuffs,
Saying Please was quite enough.
“Please stop breaking down that door.”
“Please stop robbing that jewelry store.”
“Please stop smashing that computer.”
“Please stop stealing that motor scooter.”
“Please stop shooting off that gun.”
“Please stop forging checks for fun.”
“Please stop ripping off those tires.”
“Please stop setting things on fire.”
And if they needed more persuasion,
They took ’em down to the Please Station
Where the friendly Chief of Please
Said Please, Please, Please
On bended knees.
And they stopped all crime with ease
By politely saying “Please.”
So the next time that you’re feelin’ blue
‘Cause someone points a gun at you
While they’re robbin’ your apartment,
Just call your friendly Please department.