Lewis Carroll




The Mad Gardener’s Song

He thought he saw an Elephant
  That practised on a fife: 
He looked again, and found it was
  A letter from his wife. 
'At length I realize,' he said, 
   'The bitterness of Life!' 
 
He thought he saw a Buffalo 
   Upon the chimney-piece: 
He looked again, and found it was
  His Sister's Husband's Niece. 
'Unless you leave this house,' he said,
  'I'll send for the Police!' 
 
He thought he saw a Rattlesnake
  That questioned him in Greek: 
He looked again, and found it as
  The Middle of Next Week. 
'The one thing I regret,' he said, 
   'Is that it cannot speak!' 
 
He thought he saw a Banker's Clerk
  Descending from the 'bus: 
He looked again, and found it was
  A Hippopotamus. 
'If this should stay to dine,' he said,
  'There won't be much for us!’

He thought he saw a Kangaroo
  That worked a coffee-mill: 
He looked again, and found it was
  A Vegetable-Pill. 
'Were I to swallow this,' he said,
  'I should be very ill!' 
 
He thought he saw a Coach-and-Four 
   That stood beside his bed: 
He looked again, and found it was 
   A Bear without a Head. 
'Poor thing,' he said, 'poor silly thing!
  It's waiting to be fed!' 
 
He thought he saw an Albatross 
   That fluttered round the lamp: 
He looked again, and found it was 
   A Penny-Postage-Stamp. 
'You'd best be getting home,' he said,
  'The nights are very damp!' 
 
He thought he saw a Garden-Door
  That opened with a key: 
He looked again, and found it was 
   A Double Rule of Three: 
'And all its mystery,' he said, 
   'Is clear as day to me!' 
 
He thought he saw an Argument
  That proved he was the Pope: 
He looked again, and found it was 
 A Bar of Mottled Soap. 
'A fact so dread,' he faintly said,
  'Extinguishes all hope!'


spoken = Julian Lopez-Morillas